Dear you:

Dear you: I know you think that I'm heartless. And conniving. And devoid of remorse. None of these are true. I am flawed, yes. But if you think that I'm not sorry for the hurt I've caused, you are sorely mistaken. If you think that I planned this course for myself... again, wrong. We are all people. We are all doing the best we can. I am trying, really hard, to love you, because that is the next right thing to do. I forgive you for the awful things you've said about me. If you knew the truth, you'd say even more. I understand how you feel... trust me, I do. I've been in your place. I know your pain. And I never wanted to cause that. I understand why you hate me. But I am trying to give you the grace you deserve. We are the same. We are part of one another. I accept this, and I love you as best I can. With hope, B.

Year

It's been a year. A long, stressful, anxious year. And I still don't know what to do. Isn't time supposed to work these things out?

So. There's That.

Calvin

Discouraged

It's tough, for me, to not feel like a complete failure on the day of what would have been a significant anniversary. That voice that says I'm terrible at relationships feels more right today than normal.

smile

An older woman, who is a complete stranger, came up to me out of nowhere today and touched my arm. She said, "you are so pretty." I've been smiling the rest of the day. Sometimes, a kind word with no agenda behind it is the most precious gift a person can give.

Joy

The babies' dad has them at the beach this week. The sheer joy in this picture makes me feel as though all is going to be okay. love to all of you. we could all use some, I think.