Wednesday, October 30, 2013


listening to music this morning, the line "where you invest your love, you invest your life" is resonating. and making me think.

Monday, October 28, 2013


lately, my favorite part of sports is where everyone leaves me alone so i can sew or read or sit in the tub drinking wine by myself.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013


"Morning Song" The carbonation in my drink The bubbles rise while my heart sinks And all I tend to do is think of you Was it easier to pack your bags And book that flight to Paris as The plane began to move that afternoon When all the trains have pulled away From local stations in decay It's I who waits, it's you who's late again And did you think of me when you made love To him, was it the same as us Or was it different, it must have been And all the pretty dames They'll hug and kiss you all the same And when they go, they're gone They're not running late Oh all, all the pretty dames And the kids that you hold in your arms With promises to protect them from harm But they grow, and they go And you're all alone All the kids, all the kids that you hold And it's a shame that it ends this way With nothing left to say So just sit on your hands, while I walk away It's a shame, it's a shame, it's a shame When my hands begin to shake When bitterness is all I taste And my car won't stop Cause I cut the brakes I hold on to a hope in my fate Oh oh ah ah hey hey May you return to love one day Well I hope and I pray You get what you gave

Monday, October 21, 2013


So, at work today, a customer that i remember from a few months ago came in. she is visibly pregnant, and she said, "do you remember me?" i said that i did, and she said, "i need to ask you something, and i need you to tell me the truth, and i feel very awkward about it." i told her to ask. she said, "do you live downtown?" i said, "close to downtown." she said, "do you go to (local bar)?" i said, "i've been there a few times." she said, "do you know a man named nolan?" I said, "no." she said "i found out three weeks ago that my husband cheated on me. he said he was drunk and met a woman named bethany with brown hair at (local bar). he said he can't remember anything about her other than that, and i need to know if it was you." i said, "i promise you it wasn't me." she said, "we had a rough time in our marriage a few months ago. we have three kids and i'm expecting our fourth. i cannot believe he did this to me. i am so humiliated, and i walk around every day looking for this woman that i don't even know. and if that's not bad enough, he gave me a std. he gets to walk around like everything's fine and i am in hell." i hugged her and said i was so, so sorry that she had this to deal with. but, universe, i'm puzzled. i did hurt a wife, because i believed her husband when he lied to me. i am so remorseful for my actions. i have made peace with her, to the best of my ability. why this? why am i the accused? what am i supposed to be learning from this?

Saturday, October 19, 2013


i'm out of sorts. i got my hair cut too short. i'm crazy broke right now. nachos, however, make me feel better.

Monday, October 14, 2013

Thursday, October 10, 2013


got my nose pierced. expected mom to have a freak-out, but god bless her, she didn't notice. once one turns forty, one should have some sort of immature commemoration, amirite??


Wednesday, October 9, 2013


my baby asked me to spray some of my perfume on her sweater before she went to school. she said, "sometimes i like to smell it when i miss you." my heart can't take the sweetness.

Monday, October 7, 2013


from saturday night through monday morning, i have been awake for, at most, 3-4 hours. i have slept the entire time. i've lost an entire day, and i'm still tired. either i'm getting sick, or i'm depressed and just haven't noticed yet. sigh.

Thursday, October 3, 2013


i had a wonderful, smart, caring, hilarious, kind friend visit. that, combined with renewing a relationship, has made me feel downright happy. that's right, i said it, happy. happy makes me nervous. but i'm embracing it this time with hope and a smile.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013